Rachel Grant - Beyond Surviving

 I have been reading Rachel Grant's book Beyond Surviving and it is amazing!!! She describes the stages of healing and what we need to move from one stage to the next. Her insight is incredible. You'll find yourself nodding along, wondering how she got into your head! She includes "homework" and journaling prompts that are invaluable! I'll even be using some for our Friday prompts. 😃

Check out her website full of resources: http://rachelgrantcoaching.com/ 

Prompt #22

 This week's prompt is all about the changing of the seasons: What have you learned over the spring and summer? What experiences are you grateful for? What are some things you need to let go of in order to strengthen and grow into the fall? 

This spring and summer have been like no other, that's for sure. Throughout this unprecedented time I have learned that I resilient. I am able to adapt. I am able to carve out a new normal, a new routine for myself. I am able to stay positive and keep my spirits up for my son's sake. I have learned that I crave connection. Isolation has been hard for this extrovert. I like keeping busy and love having plans. I am happiest when I am around family and friends and am the first to institute get togethers. But I have taken the time afforded me and am working on self-improvement and self-care. I started writing more - including creating this blog. I am reading again and realizing how much I missed it. I even downloaded an app and am learning Spanish. It's my lemonade I made from the lemons I was given. :-)

I am grateful for the extra time I have had with my son. For walks as a family. Movie nights and board game nights. Jumping in the trampoline with my son. The quarantine has made us more conscious and mindful of the time we spend together. I am grateful for flexibility and work. I am grateful for friends and family and the time we are able to spend together.

I need to let go of the need to control everything. I know it stems from my anxiety - but I need to remember that there is only so much that is in my control. If it's out of my control, I need to let it go! I need to let go of trying to be perfect. I am only human and I have to stop beating myself up for every little mistake. Giving myself grace and realizing that there are some things outside of my control will make navigating through the chaoticness of life a little easier.

Now it's your turn. What reflections do you have on spring and summer? How are you entering fall?

Prompt # 21

 This week's prompt is: What would your ideal day look like if you could design it yourself?

My day:

I would sleep in and wake up completely refreshed. Then I would get dressed and take a walk in nature with my family, getting fresh air and watching the sun rise. Afterwards I would have a delicious breakfast of chocolate chip waffles. Once I finished, I would grab a cup of hot chocolate and hide myself away with my notebook and pen and write. My son would break in as I was putting the final touches on my story and we would have an impromptu dance party. Lunch would be a hearty bowl of soup. Then we would create some art together. Friends and family would come over and we would play board games, laughing and having fun together. Dinner would be outside (who doesn't love a good cook-out). Dessert would be smores over a campfire. As the day would down I would watch a good movie cuddled on the couch with my husband, son, and cats. Lastly, I would relax in a bubble bath, reading until the water turned cold and I was sleepy. I would have pleasant dreams of a day well spent.

Your turn! What would your perfect day look like? Once it's written down, look to see if there are different themes that come up for you (In mine I can see an underlying theme of nature/grounding, creativity, and connection) More importantly, see if you can put some of these activities into your day. Can you put a 15 minute run into your morning or nightly routine? Can you go to bed even 10 minutes earlier to read a chapter or two a night? Can you schedule a monthly girls/guys night? Make a date with yourself and put yourself on your calendar!!! 

Prompt # 20

 This week's prompt is all about our ideal life. If you could wave a magic wand and create your perfect life, what would it look like? Who would you be with? Where would you live? What would you be doing? Dream big!!

My perfect life would start off with living with my husband and son somewhere near water. Water has always been soothing to me.  I love swimming, love the freeing sense of floating. The beach is my happy place. The sound of the rushing or lapping water calms my nerves and a beautiful lake view can brighten the darkest day. Being on a boat is like being in Heaven. 

I would have lots of time to read and write. Stories take me away and allow me to take a break when reality gets to be too much. Journaling and writing has always been healing for me. In my dream life this would go one step further and I would have collections of poetry published as well as a book of my journal entries and prompts. I know it's cheesy but I love the idea of signing books and hearing others' stories of their own healing. 

I would still be an advocate. I am extremely lucky and grateful that I get to do something I love. It's an unbelievable sense of fulfillment to help others. I would continue spending my time working to create a safer world for all. I can't see myself doing anything else. It's in my DNA. 

I would spend lots of time with friends and family. I love planning and throwing parties. We would get together regularly - movie nights, board game nights, mystery nights, barbecues, dance parties, fancy dinners - it doesn't matter as long as it's spent with great people and good vibes. 

I am working to make this dream real. As I put my calendar together each week, I am now scheduling time for myself to both read and write. This makes sure that I have that time set aside. If it's in my planner I have to do it! I am looking into agents and working on book proposals. It's one step - but it's a step in the right direction.

Unfortunately COVID has put a damper on get togethers....but I am still cultivating my friendships. Zoom meets, phone calls, Skype and Facebook messages ensure we still connect. And once this is over I am putting on the biggest party ever!

I am continuing to advocate for others. My last breath will probably be in service of survivors everywhere! Raising awareness is important to me, and I might even have a few surprises up my sleeves for next April!

Slowly but surely I am working to make my dream life a reality. I am blessed that they started out not so far apart.

Your turn - what does your dream life look like? How can you work to make it a reality? Let us know in the comments!

Prompt #19

 This week's prompt is all about building self-esteem. Trauma cloaks us in shame and guilt. We need to take back our sense of self-worth. This prompt will help you see all the wonderful aspects of yourself.

I like myself because: I am a human being worthy of love, care, and respect. I do my best to be kind and considerate and help others.

I'm an expert at: working with others

I feel good about: all the work I do with survivors

I'm loved by: my family and friends

People say I am a good: listener

I consider myself a good: friend

I feel good when: I am hanging out with my family or helping others

I've been successful at: creating a fulfilling career

The traits I admire in myself are: kindness, intelligence, love, determination, caring

My favorite accomplishment is: creating a series of events of Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Toot your own horn now!! Finish the statements and tell me the best parts of you in the comments!!

Prompt # 18

 This week's prompt is to write your purpose statement. What do you feel you are set on Earth to do? This helps focus us and our goals, as well as giving us a reason to keep moving forward. 

My purpose is to inspire other survivors; to bring light to their darkness. I want to model healing and perseverance. My story will be a guide for others. I will utilize my voice to speak for those who have lost theirs. My ears will listen to their stories, listen to their pain. My arms will bring comfort. My heart will beat for them when they feel like they can't go on. I will be their advocate.

Where does your purpose lie? 

Prompt # 17

This week's prompt is to write down what you remember, both good and bad.

I remember:

• sleepless nights
• the confusion
• the pain
• wondering why someone who was supposed to take care of me would be the one to hurt me
• the fear
• not knowing who to turn to
• wondering what I did wrong; what I did to "deserve" this
• not knowing how to say the words to let others know what was happening to me
• being desperate enough to try to take my life
• not being believed by some

I remember:

• my strength
• not giving up my spirit
• turning to love and not hate
• my resilience
• the support of most of those around me
• turning the pain into a passion for helping others
• finding a light in the darkness
• I survived 

What do you remember?

Prompt # 16

This week's prompt is all about honoring who we are. In the center of a piece of paper write the words "I AM." All around those words write positive things about yourself. Feel the self-love!

Who are you?

Prompt # 15

This week's prompt is about the things you carry. What are the negative things you carry that you might want to think about letting go of? What are the things you carry that sustain you; that you want to hold on to?


I carry shame. No matter how many times I say it to others and myself, there is still a part of me that believes the abuse is my fault. I carry the trauma and it's aftermath. Decades later and it is still ingrained in my body, my reactions, everything I do. I carry the feeling of not being good enough. My self-worth is something I will continue to work on, but it's a daily struggle. I carry fear. The assault and my disclosure showed me the worst of humanity. I live in constant fear of what people are capable of.

I carry resilience. I have made it out of the darkness and into the light, shining the ways for others. I carry strength and courage. It was how I was able to make my way through; how I was able to endure day by day. I carry hope. Hope that my small actions will somehow make a difference. Hope when I see the other side of humanity - the compassionate and giving side. I carry responsibility. The responsibility to change things I cannot accept. To inspire people to do and be better. I carry with me all those who have come before me and those who will come after. We have and will continue to survive.

What do you carry?

Affirmations

The person who you “speak” with the most is yourself. You can fill your head with negative self-talk or positive self-talk. Affirmations are positive thoughts/sayings that you repeat to yourself. You are feeding them into your subconscious mind, which is what ultimately helps develop your mental attitude. Here are some positive affirmations – use what speaks to you or create your own! Post them in a notebook! Tape them to places you see every date! Repeat them, repeat them, repeat them!

v  I am full of energy and life. 

v  I am in control of my state at all times. 

v  I am happy and always have control over how I feel. 

v  I choose to be full of joy and gratitude. 

v  I am more than I seem to be, and within me are all the powers of the Universe. 

v  My reason for eating healthy food is to fuel my body. 

v  Being healthy is better than any other taste in the world. 

v  My healthy body is created by my healthy thoughts. 

v  My body is my temple. 

v  I am worthy of being healthy. 

v  My daily habits are helping me to become healthier and happier. 

v  I make healthy choices and respect the body that I have been given. 

v  The water that I drink cleanses my body and gives me the clarity of mind I need to succeed. 

v  I love how it feels to be healthy. 

v  I feel a deep sense of well-being. 

v  My body heals easily and quickly. 

v  I take ample amount of time to clear my mind. 

v  I invest in the health of my mind and body. 

v  My heart is healthy and strong. 

v  My fitness and health are a priority. 

v  I have abundant energy to live my life. 

v  Living a healthy lifestyle is important to me. 

v  I love my body. It takes me everywhere. 

v  My body grows healthier and stronger every day. 

v  I deserve to be healthy. 

v  I am in control of my own health. 

v  I feel great, and I radiate an abundance of joy and gratitude. 

v  I honor my body, and I am surrounded by others who want me to be healthy. 

v  I trust the signals my body sends to me. 

v  I feel good, my body feels good, and I radiate nothing but good feelings. 

v  I am in possession of a healthy body and a healthy mind. 

v  I am energetic and vigorous. 

v  I let go of all bad feelings within me about others, incidents, and everything else. I forgive everyone who is associated with me. 

v  My body is healthy, I am wealthy, and my mind is wise. 

v  I am looking forward to a healthy future because I take care of my body now. 

v  I am grateful for my healthy body. 

v  Peace flows through my body, mind, and soul. 

v  I enjoy my life. 

v  I am worthy of good health. 

v  I look after my body with genuine compassion. 

v  I am doing everything in my power to keep my body healthy. 

v  My body is free from pain. 

v  My body heals itself, and I feel better every day. 

v  I am completely in control of my health, wellness, and healing. 

v  I appreciate and adore my body, mind, and soul. 

v  I will dedicate 20-30 minutes a day for exercise. 

v  I feel enthusiastic, vibrant, and energetic every moment. 

v  My body gets healthier, stronger, and more energetic with each passing day.

v  My body is a temple. It is clean, holy, and filled with a sense of goodness. 

v  My daily thoughts support my body to become healthier. 

v  I give my body what it needs. 

v  I constantly feel wonderful, and my body heals rapidly.

v  I fill my mind with positive thoughts. 

v  I use my body in ways that create positive emotions. 

v  I release the past and relish the present moment. 

v  I relax my body often and let my body rest when it needs to. 

v  I do things that are good for my body. 

v  I feel incredibly healthy, and I love it. 

v  I am strong and feel good about myself and how healthy I am. 

v  I am at peace with my health. 

v  My mind is brilliant, and my soul is tranquil. 

v  I always sleep in peace and wake up with incredible joy. 

v  I love exercising daily and filling my body with healthy foods. 

v  I am fit, energetic, attractive and healthy. 

v  I am stunning both inside and out. 

v  I care for myself by exercising, eating right, and getting enough sleep. 

v  I love, care for, and nurture my body, and it cares back for me. 

v  I am very beautiful, attractive and fit. 

v  I am completely relaxed and filled with the peace of mind and serenity. 

v  I create healing energy throughout my life. 

v  I am capable of manifesting maximum strength and health.

v  I am the creator of my life. 

v  My actions create a lot of value for others.

v  I am a person of great value. 

v  I trust that the Universe will always meet my needs. 

v  I am able to move past challenges and mistakes quickly and effortlessly. 

v  By living my purpose, I attract abundance in my life.

v  Every day, and in every way, I’m experiencing more and more joy and happiness in my life. 

v  Happiness is my natural state of being. 

v  I deserve to be happy. 

v  I spread happiness to others and absorb happiness from others in return. 

v  I am grateful for every moment of every day because I know that it will never return. 

v  My future is bright, and I am incredibly thankful for it. 

v  I constantly think uplifting thoughts. 

v  I am incredibly grateful for the air I’m breathing, the water I have access to, and the food in my refrigerator. 

v  I start every day in a state of immense happiness and joy. 

v  I am an unstoppable force for good. 

v  I trust myself because my inner wisdom knows the truth. 

v  I breathe in happiness with every single breath that I take. 

v  I am present and feel tremendous joy at this moment. 

v  I can transform any negative into a positive, no matter what it is. 

v  I am an incredibly positive person with incredible gifts to share with the world. 

v  I am the creator of my day, my weeks, my months, and my years and I chose to create happiness and joy. 

v  There are endless opportunities for me to experience joy and happiness everyday. 

v  I transform any obstacle into abundant opportunities. 

v  I am eternally grateful for the abundance in my life. 

v  I am open to accepting new journeys and beginnings in my life. I am always learning, growing, and unlocking new and promising possibilities. 

v  I respect everything and everyone around me, and I perform even little actions with a lot of happiness, love, and gratitude. 

v  I am strong, creative, and happy, and I use my mistakes as stepping stones to grow into a wiser person. 

v  I am truly blessed and grateful to everyone who has touched my life and has made it worth living. 

v  I am loving, compassionate, happy, and kind. 

v  I feel gorgeous inside and out while defining my own sense of beauty through positive energy, abundant love, and happiness. 

v  My abundance of love, happiness, and positive energy allows me to step into the day and accomplish everything that I set my mind to. 

v  I allow myself to experience the goodness that surrounds me and retain positive energy that flows throughout the day to nourish my body, mind, and soul. 

v  Happiness is my birthright. I choose to attract happiness to my life, and I deserve to be truly joyful and happy in everything I set out to do. 

v  Today is the day for new beginnings, and I welcome the day with refreshed eyes and a rejuvenated mind. 

v  Abundance is flowing throughout my day, and I possess all the love, happiness, enthusiasm, creativity, and energy to make my day special. 

v  Each moment that I am alive, I become happier and happier with my life. 

v  Happiness is something that is contagious. I understand this, and I work to spread happiness around to others, which brings happiness back to me tenfold. 

v  I focus more on my present happiness than the mistakes from my past. 

v  I can pick myself up and lift my own spirits. 

v  I feel a tremendous sense of happiness and peace within myself. 

v  I am a positive person and choose to have a positive view of life. 

v  I am ready to tackle whatever comes my way with happiness and a positive attitude. 

v  I am happy; I am healthy; I am strong. 

v  Every morning I wake up feeling happy about my life and my future. 

v  I allow myself to fully enjoy the little moments that I observe around me every day. 

v  I am always looking for more ways to bring happiness and laughter into my life. 

v  I am always able to find a reason to smile every day. 

v  I work joyfully toward all my goals and dreams. 

v  I am worthy of love and happiness. 

v  I welcome happiness and joy into my life. 

v  I am proud of what I have achieved in my life. 

v  I have the potential, power, and ability to create all the success, prosperity and abundance that I desire in my life. 

v  I am thankful for all the abilities, talents, and skills that contribute to my daily success. 

v  Each day I discover exciting, promising, and interesting new paths to travel. 

v  I feel positive, powerful, confident, and calm as I take on new challenges. 

v  I celebrate every goal I accomplish with thankfulness, happiness, and joy. 

v  I am constantly creating a life of success, happiness, and abundance. 

v  I truly love the person that I am, and I invariably attract people who respect and admire me for the unique person that I am. 

v  By being an inspiring, positive, and powerful influence to those around me, I am making the world a better place for everyone to live. 

v  Each day I wake up and dress for success, prosperity, and abundance in body, mind, and spirit. 

v  I have the full power to lift myself and my spirits up whenever I desire. 

v  Everything that I desire, want, and need is already out there waiting for me to take it. 

v  I am full of endless positive thoughts, positive energy, and positive actions every day. 

v  I am destined for success and greatness. 

v  Today and every day, I take several steps toward fulfilling my goals and getting everything I want. 

v  My ideas, thoughts, and beliefs are the seeds for my success. 

v  I am enough and will always be enough. 

v  Today is a great day, and I have everything I need to make it great. 

v  I surround myself with people that greatly contribute to my growth and success. 

v  I offer my best self each day.

v  I am capable of achieving greatest beyond my present imagination.

v  My doubts are no longer my most trusted voice.

v  I am careful and gentle in the way I speak to myself.

v  My body is strong and capable of healing.

v  I radiate love, light, and positivity.

v  I am the source of light on my own path.

v  I am in control of what I allow in my life.

v  I will talk to myself as I would to someone I love.

v  I will not be shamed for the person I am. I am powerful and whole.

v  Fear and doubt will not dim my light. I was born to shine.

v  My past does not dictate my future. My present is filled with possibilities.

 Which ones spoke to you? Do you have any to add? Reach out in the comments!