This week's prompt is about the things you carry. What are the negative things you carry that you might want to think about letting go of? What are the things you carry that sustain you; that you want to hold on to?
I carry shame. No matter how many times I say it to others and myself, there is still a part of me that believes the abuse is my fault. I carry the trauma and it's aftermath. Decades later and it is still ingrained in my body, my reactions, everything I do. I carry the feeling of not being good enough. My self-worth is something I will continue to work on, but it's a daily struggle. I carry fear. The assault and my disclosure showed me the worst of humanity. I live in constant fear of what people are capable of.
I carry resilience. I have made it out of the darkness and into the light, shining the ways for others. I carry strength and courage. It was how I was able to make my way through; how I was able to endure day by day. I carry hope. Hope that my small actions will somehow make a difference. Hope when I see the other side of humanity - the compassionate and giving side. I carry responsibility. The responsibility to change things I cannot accept. To inspire people to do and be better. I carry with me all those who have come before me and those who will come after. We have and will continue to survive.
What do you carry?
I have carried shame for decades. I felt it was my identity for a very long time.i was shamed and condemned for years. The person who abused me blamed me. Many of my earliest memories are sexual. I thought my abuse was my fault.
ReplyDeleteI carried grief n despair, hopelessness n great pain n self hate. I have consistently tried to cast these off me. Less weight n distress.
I carry now... faith and hope and love...these make everything else more bearable...
I do not think I carry the things I used to carry. As I have received healing those weights were discarded. I love myself now in a way never have. I know abuse was not my fault ... I have become a victor not a victim. I too carry & or live resilience, light, strength, endurance, courage compassion, kindness, respect, responsibility relationships, recovery, love, wisdom and an awareness of all the good there is still to savor and enjoy...thankful to God and others.
I Appreciate your blog. Thank you
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing!
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