Prompt # 11

This week's prompt is to write a Victim Impact Statement. It doesn't matter if you are pressing charges/going to court or not. Write about how the trauma has affected you and the impact it has had on your life. Let it all out!


You were family. You were supposed to protect me. Instead, you stole my childhood. You took my innocence. You took my identity. I stopped being myself and became your victim. You brought me into a club I did not wish to be invited into. 

Being assaulted by someone who was meant to love and care for me heightened the trauma. I didn't know who to trust. I still have a lot of trouble trusting others now. I am always looking for someone's angle. When someone is kind to me, there is always a voice in the back of my mind asking, "Why?" You put it there. I crave connection, but at the same time am suspicious of it. It's like being at war with myself; my heart and my head fighting against each other.

For a long time, I blamed myself. I wondered what I did wrong. To this day I still have the need to be the "good girl." I feel if I am perfect as can be, and bend over backwards for others, then I will become worthy and no one will hurt me. I struggle to be good enough, but always feel like I'm falling short. My self-worth turned to dust in your hands.

Because of you I lost a lot of family. They stood by your side, even those who you assaulted as well. Half of my family, half of my heritage, gone in one fell swoop. You robbed me of grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. You denied me my blood.

I am not the only one you hurt. I had to watch my mother cry, both of us trying to be strong for the other. Nights spent embracing each other, trying to let go of the pain, to revel in each other's strength. Days spent trying to keep the feelings from winding down our cheeks as I had to go over my story over and over again and she sat holding my hand.

In court your lawyer made me out to be the bad guy. My memory was attacked. My character was attacked. I was destroying your reputation to keep my parents together. Your family lied for you. Your were the perfect patriarch. I was the troubled child. You even had the judge fooled.

But just because you did not spend a day in jail, were not convicted, does not mean you are not a rapist. Does not mean I still don't have nightmares from time to time. Does not mean my innocence wasn't taken at age 6. Does not mean my life wasn't completely changed.

But know this --- I will not let what you did change the core of who I am. My heart refuses to be hardened. My passion is helping others. I will share my story and light the path for others. I will continue to fight for good. You may have made me a victim, but I am making myself a survivor.


What would your impact statement say? Let me know in the comments.