Prompt # 7

This week's prompt is to write as many ways as you can why it wasn't your fault. A lot of time with victim-blaming and our own guilt and shame, we get it into our heads that we somehow deserved our trauma. That is NEVER the case! Write down all the ways you can think of why it wasn't your fault. If you are having trouble with that, at least fill a page or two of "It wasn't my fault."

• It wasn't my fault because I was a child.
• It wasn't my fault because he was supposed to protect me, not hurt me.
• It wasn't my fault even though I didn't say no.
• It wasn't my fault because I didn't ask for him to penetrate me.
• It wasn't my fault because I didn't ask him to sit next to me.
• It wasn't my fault even though I didn't fight back.
• It wasn't my fault because I am not an object.
• It wasn't my fault because my body belongs to me and no one else.
• It wasn't my fault because my clothes were not an invitation.
• It wasn't my fault because no one deserves to be assaulted
• It wasn't my fault even though I didn't speak up right away.
• It wasn't my fault and his drinking is not an excuse 
• It wasn't my fault because a crime was committed on me, not by me
• It wasn't my fault no matter what anyone says

What are the MANY reasons it was not your fault?

Know My Name Review

In Know My Name, Chanel Miller tells the story of her assault and going through the criminal justice process in a very public way. It can be triggering, so please take care of yourself while reading. It is a poignant tale of survivorship; both unique to her and familiar to many others around the world. Chanel puts into words the feelings most survivors experience and the thoughts they cannot form. She takes the reader on her healing journey and every obstacle she had to overcome. The story showcases her strength, courage, and resilience. I went through every feeling imaginable while reading, but ultimately ended up feeling inspired. I hope it does the same for you!


https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/553663/know-my-name-by-chanel-miller/

Prompt # 6

Today's prompt is two - pronged --- what do you want more of in your life, and how will you nurture that?


In my life I want more peace, more compassion for myself, more connection, and more creativity. My anxiety has risen, I have been hard on myself, feeling like I can't do anything right. Before this blog, I hadn't written anything in a long time. I've lost my motivation. This pandemic has left me feeling disconnected.. There are times where I can feel myself shutting down. Ironically, as spring flowers bloom, I find myself closing up. I need a rebirth.

I will take time to meditate each day; to just sit and be. I will make a better effort to take walks in nature. I will allow myself to make mistakes and not beat myself up for them. I will continually remind myself of my worth. I will reach out to friends more. I will keep going with this blog. I will make writing a daily practice. I will nurture my newfound love of drawing and painting.


What do you need more of? How will you pursue it?

Coping Strategy

Here is something that helps me whenever I am having a rough time --- I created an affirmation book.

Take a small notebook and inside write positive affirmations, quotes you like, paste magazine pictures, use stickers --- anything that will put a smile on your face. You can find inspiration on google images and Pintrest. Let your imagination run wild!!

Keep it in your pocket, drawer, purse, etc and take it out whenever you need a boost.



Here are some examples from mine:

Prompt #5

This week's prompt is about what gifts we wish for ourselves. We're not talking about jewelry or fancy cars or clothes. We're looking for intangible things....not objects.


JoLynn,

I wish for you self-worth. Know that you are worthy of love and respect. That you didn't deserve what happened to you. You are kind and giving. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't special. Your feelings matter. You matter.

I wish for you creativity. Let the words flow again. Feel the brush against canvas. Twirl and dance. Just express yourself. Don't keep it in -- let it all out. The world needs your force and your art.

I wish for you compassion. Not only for others -- you have that in spades - but for yourself. Cut yourself some slack. No one is perfect, and you don't have to be. Everyone makes mistakes -- don't beat yourself up for making some.

I wish for you joy. Find the beauty and magic in everyday things. You are bombarded with trauma - shield yourself with laughter and happiness. Spend time with family and friends and remain mindful in their presence. Revel in the camaraderie. Take time each day to find something to smile about. It's there if you're willing to look for it.

Don't let anyone dim your light -- including yourself.


What gifts do you wish for yourself?

My Beautiful Detour Review

My Beautiful Detour by Amy Oestreicher is beyond inspiring! She is a survivor in every sense of the word. I won't give away her story, but she has faced some serious obstacles and trauma, and continues to remain a bundle of positive energy. Her story is told with such candor, and it's hard not to get drawn in. Amy considers herself a "detourist," Instead of getting bogged down in the bumps along the way in her journey, she uses them to find "flowers." A must read for anyone going through a difficult time, facing a setback, or experiencing trauma! Such a powerful and inspiring story! Amy has a great deal of knowledge to share regarding healing and resilience!

Here is a link to her TedTalk:

My Beautiful Detour Ted Talk


Here is a link to her book page:

My Beautiful Detour

Do yourself a favor and check her out!!!!!

Prompt #4

This week's prompt is all about gratitude. Every through the worst trauma, it is important to cultivate an "attitude of gratitude." Start small if you need to, but each night before you go to bed, write what you are grateful for that day.

My gratitude list:

• my family
• a beautiful day today and taking advantage of it to walk outside
• being able to help others through my job
• my health
• good movies to watch 
• good books to read
• cuddling with my cats

What are you grateful for today?